WE may have to choose
By Emma Mary Hall
PREMIER PRODUCTION
Adelaide Fringe Festival, 2015 at Tuxedo Cat, 54 Hyde St, Adelaide.
PRESENTATION SEASONS
Darwin Festival | 18-20 August 2017
Auckland Fringe | 21-25 February 2017 | Basement Theatre
NZ Fringe Wellington | 2-11 March 2017 | BATS Theatre
Brisbane Festival | 20-24 September | Theatre Republic - QUT Creative Industries, The Block
Melbourne Encore Season | 24-28 August 2016 | La Mama Theatre
Perth Fringe Festival | The Shambles | 22-26 January 2016
Melbourne Fringe Festival | Parlour Room, Fringe Hub, North Melbourne Town Hall
Edinburgh Festival Fringe | Free Fringe, Espionage @ Mata Hari 6 - 30 August || Forest Fringe, Out of the Blue Drill Hall | 17-19 Aug
AWARDS
2017 - Best Theatre (Auckland Fringe)
2017 - Best Director (Auckland Fringe)
2015 - WA Tour Ready Award (Melbourne Fringe)
2015 - Melbourne Festival Discovery Award (Melbourne Fringe)
2015 - Adelaide Fringe Best Theatre (Weekly Award)
NOMINATIONS AND SHORTLISTS
2017 - Outstanding Performer (Wellington Fringe)
2016 - West Australian Arts Editor Award
2015 - Sustainable Practice Award (Edinburgh Fringe Festival) - longlist
2015 - Green Room Awards - Best Performance (by an individual or ensemble) in Contemporary Performance
2015 - Green Room Awards - Best Performance Text
PUBLICATION
Hall, E 2017, self-published (Second Edition).
PODCAST
"Emma Hall - Political Theatre", interview on Sunday Morning, Radio New Zealand, 12 February 2017
http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/sunday/audio/201832883/emma-hall-political-theatre
REVIEWS (A SELECTION)
"its spellbinding effect is... not to be missed" Dominion Post | full review
"pitch perfect, free-flowing, tumbling, illuminating...brilliant" Theatre Review | full review
"thought-provoking.... sometimes devilishly unsettling topics, (but) plenty to laugh at… from the start, to the end, and everything in between; you are consumed..." The Creative Issue | full review
★★★★ "(Hall) wields her words like a fencing champion, swinging effortlessly from thought to thought, leading the audience until she lands a powerful strike right in the guts... We May Have To Choose ... painfully reflects the way we engage with information, opinion and socio-political issues in the contemporary world of globalised, socialised media." Fiona Spitzkowsky, Theatrepeople | full review
★★★★ "brain-prodding, riveting theatre... genius" Anne Marie-Peard, Sydney Morning Herald/The Age | full review
"a subtle cumulative poetry about this moment in human history... strangely gripping, and absolutely irresistible" Joyce McMillan, The Scotsman | full review
★★★★★ "beautifully simple, intensely clever... intimate, funny, honest and unlike anything I've seen at the Fringe this year" ThreeWeeks Edinburgh | full review
★★★★ "genuinely unique" Broadway Baby | full review
★★★★ "this is a show which deserves ... tracking down... an esoteric and considered piece... wonderfully precise" The Scotsman | full review
★★★★ "an engaging... and thought-provoking reflection on how we navigate life" Rip It Up | full review
SYNOPSIS
I think, therefore I am.... often wrong.
“Farting breaks the ice. Ice caps are good places for Japanese butoh dancing. Dancing fills your body with happy chemicals. Chemicals are destroying the oceans. The Arctic is not a safe place to visit. The polar bears are angry with you...”
Referred to as "one woman speaking from her own personal coordinates in the universe", We May Have to Choose is a monologue, a one-sided stream of consciousness, a list of declarations about the universe, a study of what it is to speak one’s mind. Inspired by UK writer Tim Etchells’ Sight is the Sense', the work depicts a woman who, over the course of 45 minutes, lists 621 personal opinions on topics that cover a vast spectrum of human experience. It is an experiment in the way we use words to build psychological borders and political identities.
EXTRACT OF TEXT
In my opinion, gas hot water systems are better than electric. It’s easier to control the heat. If you make toast under a grill, you are more likely to burn it. People get electrocuted when they stick metal knives into toasters. Many people think this is an urban myth, but many people get electrocuted. In my opinion, everyone should own a case for their laptop. Everyone should own a laptop. Everyone should own a laptop case. People should always carry their laptop charger with their laptop. It is rude to rely on the kindness of strangers. Strangers are often kind. In my opinion, you shouldn’t marry someone you’ve only known for two weeks. Women who wear stilettos and tight miniskirts on city streets are not to be trusted. Men in business suits who talk into their mobile phones on public transport are not to be trusted. Real estate agents, and lawyers, and bankers, and fitness consultants, and people who work in retail, and most baristas, are not to be trusted. People who work for Australia Post are always honest. If the sex is good, love will always win. In my opinion, everyone hates being on airplanes. Even the flight attendants, if the turbulence is bad. The internet is not a real place. Chewing gum is not for eating. Prawn fishing is not sustainable. If you ask me there can never be too much signage a music festival. There can never be too many portaloos. There can never be too many earplugs. Drugs are bad for you. Peer pressure affects us all. In my opinion, it is best to just look people in the eye and say no. In my opinion, you don't have to look your best all of the time. If it's cold outside, wear a beanie. Floral dresses are for summer only. When the sun is out you should always sit under the shade. Humans are not built to spend time in the sun. Humans are not built to swim, or to fly, or over-eat. Humans should be horizontal for a good twelve hours every day. Day always follows night. Night comes first. It’s a good idea to be on time when starting a new job, meeting a new friend, or when on a date. Actually, sometimes on a date it’s a good idea to be a little bit late. Smiling, nodding and laughing will make you more attractive. Men like to be experts. Women like to be held.
(long pause)
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. In my opinion nobody deserves to go hungry, but if you ask me for money on the street I will say no. Unless it is dark, and I am alone, and I am afraid. The man washing your windscreen at the traffic lights will probably die before you do. This does not make you a better person. Funerals should be low-key affairs. In my opinion, pain is both bearable, and forgettable. In my opinion, romance is just around the corner. So are the rapists. Not all rapists can be found in dark alleyways, or public parks. The ruling class look after their own. Waterslides lose their appeal as one gets older. Life is circular. No one is happy all of the time. Black people live a harder life than white people. Rich people are nicer to be around than poor people, except in hotels. In hotels, rich people are generally rude. Poor people are angrier than rich people. Rich people are generally not as kind as poor people but most rich people do know what it is to work hard. Middle class women in the 1950s were depressed alcoholics. Working 9 to 5 is a very good way to make a living. I am unlikely to want to hear about your feelings if I’ve had a rough day. I am more likely to feel good about you if you cook me dinner. We are nothing without the heart. When it comes to baggage, people pack more than they need. Nail polish, for example, is unnecessary. In my opinion, anyone with a curious mind can learn how to change the washer on their own bathroom tap. You do not need to get someone in. Exercise is something everyone should do once a day. Repetition is the growing power. The more you repeat yourself, the clearer you become. Never be afraid to repeat yourself. Repetition is the growing power. No one listens to anyone anymore.
PREMIER PRODUCTION
Adelaide Fringe Festival, 2015 at Tuxedo Cat, 54 Hyde St, Adelaide.
PRESENTATION SEASONS
Darwin Festival | 18-20 August 2017
Auckland Fringe | 21-25 February 2017 | Basement Theatre
NZ Fringe Wellington | 2-11 March 2017 | BATS Theatre
Brisbane Festival | 20-24 September | Theatre Republic - QUT Creative Industries, The Block
Melbourne Encore Season | 24-28 August 2016 | La Mama Theatre
Perth Fringe Festival | The Shambles | 22-26 January 2016
Melbourne Fringe Festival | Parlour Room, Fringe Hub, North Melbourne Town Hall
Edinburgh Festival Fringe | Free Fringe, Espionage @ Mata Hari 6 - 30 August || Forest Fringe, Out of the Blue Drill Hall | 17-19 Aug
AWARDS
2017 - Best Theatre (Auckland Fringe)
2017 - Best Director (Auckland Fringe)
2015 - WA Tour Ready Award (Melbourne Fringe)
2015 - Melbourne Festival Discovery Award (Melbourne Fringe)
2015 - Adelaide Fringe Best Theatre (Weekly Award)
NOMINATIONS AND SHORTLISTS
2017 - Outstanding Performer (Wellington Fringe)
2016 - West Australian Arts Editor Award
2015 - Sustainable Practice Award (Edinburgh Fringe Festival) - longlist
2015 - Green Room Awards - Best Performance (by an individual or ensemble) in Contemporary Performance
2015 - Green Room Awards - Best Performance Text
PUBLICATION
Hall, E 2017, self-published (Second Edition).
PODCAST
"Emma Hall - Political Theatre", interview on Sunday Morning, Radio New Zealand, 12 February 2017
http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/sunday/audio/201832883/emma-hall-political-theatre
REVIEWS (A SELECTION)
"its spellbinding effect is... not to be missed" Dominion Post | full review
"pitch perfect, free-flowing, tumbling, illuminating...brilliant" Theatre Review | full review
"thought-provoking.... sometimes devilishly unsettling topics, (but) plenty to laugh at… from the start, to the end, and everything in between; you are consumed..." The Creative Issue | full review
★★★★ "(Hall) wields her words like a fencing champion, swinging effortlessly from thought to thought, leading the audience until she lands a powerful strike right in the guts... We May Have To Choose ... painfully reflects the way we engage with information, opinion and socio-political issues in the contemporary world of globalised, socialised media." Fiona Spitzkowsky, Theatrepeople | full review
★★★★ "brain-prodding, riveting theatre... genius" Anne Marie-Peard, Sydney Morning Herald/The Age | full review
"a subtle cumulative poetry about this moment in human history... strangely gripping, and absolutely irresistible" Joyce McMillan, The Scotsman | full review
★★★★★ "beautifully simple, intensely clever... intimate, funny, honest and unlike anything I've seen at the Fringe this year" ThreeWeeks Edinburgh | full review
★★★★ "genuinely unique" Broadway Baby | full review
★★★★ "this is a show which deserves ... tracking down... an esoteric and considered piece... wonderfully precise" The Scotsman | full review
★★★★ "an engaging... and thought-provoking reflection on how we navigate life" Rip It Up | full review
SYNOPSIS
I think, therefore I am.... often wrong.
“Farting breaks the ice. Ice caps are good places for Japanese butoh dancing. Dancing fills your body with happy chemicals. Chemicals are destroying the oceans. The Arctic is not a safe place to visit. The polar bears are angry with you...”
Referred to as "one woman speaking from her own personal coordinates in the universe", We May Have to Choose is a monologue, a one-sided stream of consciousness, a list of declarations about the universe, a study of what it is to speak one’s mind. Inspired by UK writer Tim Etchells’ Sight is the Sense', the work depicts a woman who, over the course of 45 minutes, lists 621 personal opinions on topics that cover a vast spectrum of human experience. It is an experiment in the way we use words to build psychological borders and political identities.
EXTRACT OF TEXT
In my opinion, gas hot water systems are better than electric. It’s easier to control the heat. If you make toast under a grill, you are more likely to burn it. People get electrocuted when they stick metal knives into toasters. Many people think this is an urban myth, but many people get electrocuted. In my opinion, everyone should own a case for their laptop. Everyone should own a laptop. Everyone should own a laptop case. People should always carry their laptop charger with their laptop. It is rude to rely on the kindness of strangers. Strangers are often kind. In my opinion, you shouldn’t marry someone you’ve only known for two weeks. Women who wear stilettos and tight miniskirts on city streets are not to be trusted. Men in business suits who talk into their mobile phones on public transport are not to be trusted. Real estate agents, and lawyers, and bankers, and fitness consultants, and people who work in retail, and most baristas, are not to be trusted. People who work for Australia Post are always honest. If the sex is good, love will always win. In my opinion, everyone hates being on airplanes. Even the flight attendants, if the turbulence is bad. The internet is not a real place. Chewing gum is not for eating. Prawn fishing is not sustainable. If you ask me there can never be too much signage a music festival. There can never be too many portaloos. There can never be too many earplugs. Drugs are bad for you. Peer pressure affects us all. In my opinion, it is best to just look people in the eye and say no. In my opinion, you don't have to look your best all of the time. If it's cold outside, wear a beanie. Floral dresses are for summer only. When the sun is out you should always sit under the shade. Humans are not built to spend time in the sun. Humans are not built to swim, or to fly, or over-eat. Humans should be horizontal for a good twelve hours every day. Day always follows night. Night comes first. It’s a good idea to be on time when starting a new job, meeting a new friend, or when on a date. Actually, sometimes on a date it’s a good idea to be a little bit late. Smiling, nodding and laughing will make you more attractive. Men like to be experts. Women like to be held.
(long pause)
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. In my opinion nobody deserves to go hungry, but if you ask me for money on the street I will say no. Unless it is dark, and I am alone, and I am afraid. The man washing your windscreen at the traffic lights will probably die before you do. This does not make you a better person. Funerals should be low-key affairs. In my opinion, pain is both bearable, and forgettable. In my opinion, romance is just around the corner. So are the rapists. Not all rapists can be found in dark alleyways, or public parks. The ruling class look after their own. Waterslides lose their appeal as one gets older. Life is circular. No one is happy all of the time. Black people live a harder life than white people. Rich people are nicer to be around than poor people, except in hotels. In hotels, rich people are generally rude. Poor people are angrier than rich people. Rich people are generally not as kind as poor people but most rich people do know what it is to work hard. Middle class women in the 1950s were depressed alcoholics. Working 9 to 5 is a very good way to make a living. I am unlikely to want to hear about your feelings if I’ve had a rough day. I am more likely to feel good about you if you cook me dinner. We are nothing without the heart. When it comes to baggage, people pack more than they need. Nail polish, for example, is unnecessary. In my opinion, anyone with a curious mind can learn how to change the washer on their own bathroom tap. You do not need to get someone in. Exercise is something everyone should do once a day. Repetition is the growing power. The more you repeat yourself, the clearer you become. Never be afraid to repeat yourself. Repetition is the growing power. No one listens to anyone anymore.